Maureen and I were training a group of 25 people and were modeling three types of conversations for the group: good, bad, and ugly. I was playing the pro-choice position, and while my statement was harsh, Maureen, who was playing the pro-life position, was equally annoying.
It’s easy to spot an ugly conversation. Maureen and I interrupted each other, we traded insults, and the “conversation” turned into a shouting match. Many conversations are not as obviously ugly, but they're still bad...and they're much more common.
In our “bad conversation,” Maureen and I weren’t raising our voices or interrupting each other, but something was very wrong. Maureen didn’t find any common ground with me, even though she had an easy opportunity. There are women in our country who are really poor. Also, while it’s true that there are many parents willing to adopt, we shouldn’t assume that it’s easy for a mother to place her child in an adoptive home, even though that child will probably receive lots of love if they are adopted. Worst of all, Maureen wasn’t really listening to me. Even though Maureen made two valid points in her last paragraph, her manner made it nearly impossible for me to take them seriously. That’s why we made sure to also model what a good conversation looks like:
What a difference! Maureen listened to my concerns, asked questions instead of making statements, and built common ground first before moving to points of disagreement. When we disagreed, we did so respectfully.
Seeing pro-life advocates have good conversations about abortion is my passion, and your support has helped me train hundreds of pro-life advocates this year. Thank you for your support!
Blessings,
Matt McKinley
*This is an actual quote from Dr. Hern, an abortion doctor, during an interview on the Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC in June 2009.
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